From: Daniel Patel
To: Carmen Patel
Sent: Monday, December 13, 2010 11:17 AM
You're not crazy.
Your fears have foundation.
But I have never been unfaithful.
Someone is getting revenge.
My 9-5 actions have been responsible for the countless loss of jobs. With me, it's always business--never personal. Unfortunately, those obligated to present their spouse with a box containing belongings that hours prior decorated their cubicle wall find it cathartic to pretend I took pleasure in ruining their lives so that my take home pay would increase by a fraction of a percent. They don't know me from Adam, yet believe I view them as trailer trash and therefore laughs of glee accompanied the document signing that unchained their alarm clocks.
The weird phone calls, the woman at the restaurant, and the strange mailings are clever ways of enacting what they consider justice. Perhaps it's a communal effort by people who shared a floor.
I apologize for reacting to your suspicion with anger. As I've asked of you, I should have trusted you had solid reasons to doubt my fidelity. In my defense, being falsely accused of horrific deeds immediately makes one so red in the face that rationality flies out the window.
I will ask the leader of Brandon's security detail to look into these strange occurrences and assure you that I will get to the bottom of them.
In the interim, all I can do is ask that you have faith.
Thankfully Brandon's security chief is one of the dumbest individuals on whom I've ever laid eyes.
The CEO entrusts the protection of his family to such an enormous idiot because said idiot is the consummate "yes man." Competent armed defenders have an attitude that lets everyone know they are in control.
If Ned Jensen, Brandon's security guru, is asked by his boss, "Is it safe to engage that angry mob of gun toting enemies assembled in the street below my office in a face-to-unkempt-faces debate?", Mr. Jensen wouldn't answer based on his expertise as a former county sheriff, he'd respond based on what he assumed his commander wanted to hear.
Safety second; butt kissed constantly first.
I am very impressed with the above email by Mr. Patel to his wife, however. Were he to conduct his day-to-day business with such consideration, perhaps he wouldn't be in this mess.